How to talk about death with young children
Death is the most difficult thing to talk about with small children, especially when sadness befalls you. But death is inevitable and children need to understand it. Contact the Family Funeral Services Sydney to arrange a religious memorial service, so your child knows what it means to lose, and stay strong through the day without someone he cares about. Generally, preschool children (3-4 years) have little understanding of death. They might have heard it from a story or watched it on television. Some children have even gone through the death condition of the family.
There are several aspects of death that toddlers do not understand. For example, they do not understand that death is permanent and happens to everyone. They also don’t understand that death makes the body no longer function.
They still believe that people who die can still eat, sleep, and do normal things. Even though you have explained it many times, preschoolers still cannot digest what causes death. They consider death to be temporary.
Even when one family dies, the child does not see it as something that can happen to them. Children at this age react to death in different ways. Don’t be surprised if your child experiences a setback in achievement or suddenly refuses to go to school when someone nearby dies. All his daily activities can be disrupted, he is trying to understand why the adults around him are grieving.
It could also not show any reaction, all the responses might be mixed with fun and play on a normal day. This condition is also normal. Sometimes he immediately feels sorrow but it can also be delayed until he feels safe to issue it.
This process can last for months or even years, especially if he loses a parent or one of his siblings. Your child might behave strangely, for example, if he pretends to be dead. Although this method is very surprising, this is also normal. Then how do you explain the death of children? The following are the requirements:
1. Give Short and Simple Answers
Young children cannot receive too much information in one opportunity. At this age, it is better to explain death in terms of physical function, not as a complicated discussion related to a disease that causes death. You can explain, “Now uncle is dead. His body no longer functions. He cannot walk or run. Om also no longer eats, drinks, or sees. He also doesn’t feel pain. ”It is also important to help the child understand other things, such as who will take care of him if, for example, his parents die.
2. Don’t Avoid the Question
It is very normal for your child to be curious about matters relating to death, even though he has never lost a loved one. This condition can be a good opportunity to put a foundation that will help your child overcome it when he loses someone. Answer the questions about death and don’t be afraid to read stories about children who have lost pets or parents.
3. Be Careful When Explaining God and Heaven
The explanation of death and life after death will depend on your beliefs. If your explanation is related to God and heaven, be careful what you say, because the words intended to appease a child can be confusing.
If you say, “Grandma is happy now because she is in heaven,” for example, she might be worried and think, “How can you feel happy when everyone here feels sad.” If you say, “Grandma is very good being God he wants to be with her. “He might think,” If God made Grandma separate from us, would God separate me from mom and dad too? “Or,” Do I have to be a bad child to stay here with Dad? and Mother? “
4. Avoid euphemisms
Adults usually use the phrase “resting peacefully” or “eternal sleep” to describe death. This is confusing for young children. So don’t say Grandfather is sleeping or leaving. Your child can worry when he sleeps at night he will die too. Or when you leave it for work you will leave and never come back.
State the cause of death as simply as possible, for example by saying, “Grandfather is very old and his body is no longer functioning.” If grandfather experienced pain before dying, make sure that if he was sick only because of coughing or a cold, he would not die from it. Explain that each person sometimes experiences different illnesses and we will recover from a mild illness as he usually suffers.
5. Remember the person who died
Children need concrete ways to remember the death of a loved one. He may not be ready to attend the funeral, but he can argue in other activities in whatever way he feels comfortable. He can make candles at home, sing, draw, or take part in rituals of worship. If he is willing to attend a funeral or other activity, explain carefully in advance how the body will look. Talk about the whereabouts of the coffin, how to find people when the body is buried, and a detailed explanation related to the funeral.
6. Prepare for Miscellaneous Reactions
Not only will children mourn the death of a loved one, but they may also feel guilty and angry. Calm yourself by saying no action or words have taken place in death. Don’t be surprised when he turns it over to you, doctors and nurses, or even when people die. He may be sad more often. This he did to try his sadness.
7. The Same Question Again and Again
Be prepared to answer your child’s questions again and again, because they easily deny their deaths. He may have new questions through awareness about death and the growth of cognitive abilities. Don’t worry when you don’t explain death in sufficient detail. Continuous child questions are normal. Continue to answer the questions patiently.
8. Return to Normal Activity
Don’t add to the loss that your child experiences by abandoning his schedule and activities. There must be sad when someone loses but the sooner your child’s daily activities return to normal, the easier it will be to get. He needs to sleep, sleep, and eat on time. If he is in school, immediately return it to friends to have fun there.
9. Discuss Miscarriage
If you and your partner have had a miscarriage, of course, you managed to grieve. But you will be surprised to find your child disappointed too, but he has little understanding of pregnancy. He may have the right to win or fail because of siblings who are expected to arrive. It needs to be strengthened to get this death worthy. Explain why babies who need a miscarriage are not healthy enough to survive outside the mother’s womb. Let it return safely by drawing or making something for a dead fetus.
10. Show Your Emotion
Grieving is an important part of caring for adults and children. Don’t be afraid of excessive expression of grief, but don’t also make the requirements out of bounds. Explain that adults also sometimes need to cry. Your child will notice changes in your mood, and he will be more worried if he believes wrong and you manage to control it.
11. Seek Help
If your child seems difficult to accept death, then he will argue when having to sleep or are fixing depression, talk to your doctor immediately to get treatment from an expert.